Mon May 17

The Reds overtake the Flying Squirrels, Mad Antz win, an all-time great inches closer to 23rd consecutive division title, the best offense of FB keeps steamrolling opponents, and the Polarbears offense steamrolls even harder, while we have a thriller in St. Johns, insane blowouts, and not to mention insane player performances. Welcome to week 2 of the Polarbears weekly recap!

Good grief, there was a lot of stuff to cover this week. Like I mentioned, not only do we have the Reds overtaking the Flying Squirrels, we see insanity in records, stats, and the fact that it is impossible for certain teams to win games by less than a bajillion runs. Thus, this is going to end up being a long one, so I recommend: buckle up, turn on some music, (Polarman himself recommends Led Zeppelin... Rhodyman recommends Three Days Grace, Saliva, or WWE Forcebale Entry Album,), get some popcorn, and enjoy the thrilling ride of the second batch of 35 from Season 97.

We start off with the answer to last week's question: Are the Flying Squirrels immortal? Short answer: no. Long answer: maybe? Going into the 2 PM ET game on Sunday, the Kansas City Flying Squirrels were tied with the Cincinnati Reds for first in the World Rankings. The Flying Squirrels hosted the Pittsburgh Dreamteamers, who thanked them for their hospitality by blowing them out. Dreamteamers pitcher Solomon Strickland held the Squirrels scoreless until the eighth, giving up only three runs. Offensively, Dreamteamers 2B Evan Blodgett went 3-5 with 2 home runs and 5 RBIs. Strickland got the win, and Jaden Mullins got the loss. Meanwhile in Cincy, the Reds were hosting the Portland Cobras, and this game quickly turned into a shootout. Both teams were scoring machines and stayed neck-and-neck until the Cobras took a 4 run lead late on a three run shot from C Salvatore Weis, but the Reds bounced back in the eighth and ninth to win the game on a walkoff single from RF Jarvis Hoyt. Jerramiah Perra got the win, with Enrique Delao taking the loss for the Cobras. This game gave the Reds the one-game lead over the Flying Squirrels in the world rankings, while both lead their divisions by eons, with the Flying Squirrels leading the Atlanta Braves by 22 games, and and the Reds leading the Oakland ObZen by 15.

From winners to losers, the Fort Wayne Mad Antz won their first 3 games this week, with the fateful first win coming against the Newnacionals, in a 11-inning thriller. In the eleventh, 1B Bemabe Aranda hit a 2 run shot, followed by a RBI Double by RF Tristain Bolden, bothering Mad Antz general manager. Logan Crowley got the win, while Drake Hawes was handed the loss by the tankers. The Mad Antz still have the worst record in Franchise Ball, with a 3-45 record.

Arguably the greatest team in Franchise Ball history, the Spokane Warriors, is currently heading towards a whopping 23rd division title. The Warriors currently have a record of 36-12, and they hold a 6-game lead over the Little Rock Cougars. The Warriors seem unlikely to lose too much ground in their divisional race, as they boast the third best batting average and run production in Beta Compass, where they compete with the inhuman offenses of the defending World Series champ Eugene Spitters and the Philadelphia FISH TOWN. The Warriors also have the second best pitching staff of Beta Compass, behind the "Keefcheef" Edmonton Robins. The Warriors may just be the most rounded team in Beta, and while they seem almost guaranteed to win the division title, (clinching it if they continue to win the next 4 games), they are also a true contender to win Beta Compass, with a potential showdown with the defending champs in the league championship. For now though, they currently are set on winning the Beta Compass North.

Meanwhile, the insane offense of the Kansas City Flying Squirrels is steamrolling over their opponents. They have scored in the double digits in 27 of their 48 games this season; their biggest blowout was the 41-4 shutdown of the Fort Wayne Mad Antz. Their offense is led by the big bats of 1B Vincent Coble, who is batting at .433, and SS Gage Gill, batting .427. DH Lawrence Moyer has hit 29 home runs this season, along with a whopping 82 RBIs. As sure-locks for this seasons All-Star game, these three lead the electric offense of the Flying Squirrels, whose worst starting hitter is their catcher, Bradley Wampler, who's still batting a mere .335. The Flying Squirrels have already clinched Theta Premier East, and seem to be a lock to win Theta Premier.

While the Flying Squirrels offense has been booming all seasons, the offense of the Anchorage Polarbears has started to obliterate opponents in a style reminiscent of the Flying Squirrels. 2B Issac Nunez leads the team, with 82 hits, ranking third in Ocean Star, 32 XBH, and 17 steals. C Samson Stann leads Ocean Star and the Polarbears with 23 home runs, as he hopes to break former DH Drake Goolsby's record of 31 home runs on the Polarbears. 1B Neismo Pizarro also hopes to make history as he currently is second in Ocean Star with 18 walks, hoping to break the record held by 2B Nash Chapa and DH Lamont Gaines, who both have 19. Other notable bats include 3B Matthew Brantley, hitting .314 with 19 dingers, SS Rodolfo Mora, hitting .322 with 20 home runs, and CF Jett Boyle, hitting .315 with 19 home runs. The offensive prowess of Anchorage is most notable found in their 21-3 rout of the New York Mets99, where Mora hit 4-6 with 2 homeruns and 6 RBI, RF Drake Prewitt was 3-6 with 2 homeruns and 5 RBI, DH Freddy Lindsay hit 4-6 with 3 RBI, and CF Jett Boyle hit 3-6 with 3 RBI. Every Polarbears player had one hit in that game, as they embarrassed the Mets99 defense and P Leon Hartley.

On May 11, in St. Johns, the St. Louis Birds on a Bat visited the St. Johns Peace Sharks in what would become a high scoring thriller. The teams were back and forth all game, matching each others scores into extras, with the Birds on a Bat leaning on 3B Resse Hawthorne's 2 home runs, and the 3 RBIs from RF Austin Lively. Meanwhile for the Peace Sharks, 3B Brent Carlson had 5 RBIs with 2 home runs to help win the game. St. Johns defeated St. Johns in a majestic thriller, as CF Guy Bryan hit a 2 run home run for the Birds on a Bat in the tenth to give them a two-run lead, which then evaporated as CF Chaz Smyth hit a home run to cut the deficit to one and C Cale Dixon tied it up with a RBI double, who then scored to walk the game off after a RBI triple from 1B Houston Camarillo. The win went to Ezequiel Flynn, and the loss went to Jack Canales.

In Ontario, the New York Mets blew the Ontario Girl Power into high oblivion 37-0, led by a ten run seventh and a 21 run eighth. Mets SS Ray Huey had 8 RBIs that game, C Reagen Li hitting 1.000 (5-5) with 6 RBI and a homerun, and corner outfielders Jonathan Kruger and Angelito Barrentios with a combination of 11 RBIs. The Mets hit 7 home runs that game. P Humberto Ladd and P Darrius Roberge combined for a shutout, with Ladd getting win credit, and Javen Pleasant taking the big-time L in the stat category.

Several players had great weeks. One of them includes Polarbears C Samson Stann, who has a monster .487 batting average this week, belting several home runs to take the lead in the long ball category of Ocean Star. Chicago WINNERS C Nick Goins is keeping up a historic season as he continues to bat over .400, hitting .447 this season as a whole. 3B Reese Hawthorne of the Birds on a Bat is belting extra base hit after extra base hit, with 29 this week. P Reed Robertson of bobisabigfatjerk went 4-1 this week, giving up only 9 runs.
Several big trades were made this week, perhaps the most notable being between the Anchorage Polarbears and San Diego Giants. The Polarbears sent LF Joel Race, 1B Darius Roney, and P Jonah Thierault to the Giants in exchange for P Montrelle Arguello, 3B Nicholas Cortes, and P Jase Sheridan. The MB Rhody Tests sent P Fraco Zamora to the Chicago Atom Smashers for P Geoffrey Ligon. Finally, the Indianapolis Old Dogs sent C Steve Cochrane and 3B Xzavier Baker to the Cincinnati Reds for 2B Reynaldo Gallagher.

Only twelve games are left until the playoffs begin. Thank you for reading the Polarbears weekly recap, and I hope to see you all next week.

(Minor edits by Rhodyman... helluvan article by Polarman.)

Now, for the top 15:

1. Cincinnati Reds                                  45-4
2. Kansas City Flying Squirrels              43-6
3. Fort Worth Horned Frogs                  43-6
4. New York Mets                                   43-6
5. Dallas Grease Lightning                     44-5
6. Canberra Cranberries                        39-10
7. Los Angeles GOLFWANG                  40-9
8. Chicago WINNERS                             40-9
9. San Diego Bombers                           41-8
10. New Orleans Pineapples                   39-10
11. San Diego Giants                               40-9
12. Philadelphia FISH TOWN                   38-11
13. Virginia Beach jimmies                       37-12
14. Santa Clarita Currents                        37-12
15. Newark Tigers                                    39-10

Explanations: This was the most chaotic power rankings ever made. Believe it or not, the discussion went on for OVER AN HOUR! Now, Reds at 1, Flying Squirrels at 2, and Horned Frogs at 3 weren't too bad. But the next spots were tough. The question was: Who was worthy of the 4 spot? Mets recently had a loss, Grease Lightning probably has the easiest strength of schedule out of these 15 teams, Canberra has 10 losses and a bad one to Beep, easily one of the worst teams in FB, WINNERS has gone downhill, and GOLFWANG hasn't had that "moral upper lift" game, so-to-speak. Mets had to be over Grease Lightning, (with nothing separating them,) and GOLFWANG had to be over WINNERS, (with nothing separating them, either,) for this to work. So Canberra had to be 4, 6, or 8. Now if you think #4-8 was hard, wait until the discussion with #12-15. Bombers were a lock at 9, and Pineapples vs. Giants were behind them. But with Pineapples ability to shut down great teams like it was nothing, they were able to get the edge. You can usually sum up FISH TOWN's pitching in one thing: jhilrijfvhbujhkefnjbmhefufm. Yes, it's that chaotic. So chaotic that the only thing you can think of it "jhilrijfvhbujhkefnjbmhefufm." But lately, FISH TOWN has picked up the slack and has looked great. Plus, as for FISH TOWN, they've had good wins over teams like Spitters, Demo Yankees, Guppies and SPARKY. That left jimmies, Currents, Tigers, Aces, Spitters, Renegades, Maniacs, and HTFD_Yankees. The committee was able to narrow it down to Currents, jimmies, Maniacs, Aces, and Tigers. Tigers, after some major struggling, had to be in there. Also, jimmies has had some crazy-good wins, including a dominant win over Green Bay Brewers and a 10-5 win over Flying Squirrels. So that left the fight for the #14 spot: Currents vs. Maniacs vs. Aces. I will not show every message about that one, because it'd take too long. But let's say we both had a fight... just kidding. Seriously though, the biggest one was the strength of schedule and +/-.